Just to fill folk in...

Just to fill folk in...

Some of you will recall that in July 2007 I was assaulted - if you remember, I was beaten around the head by a four foot length of fence post and considered that I was lucky to be alive after it.

Well, I was not as lucky as I thought. Since the incident I have changed - not in any physical sense, but it appears that I have undergone a personality change.

This personality change is, on the surface, quite minor, but underneath, it is quite radical. For instance, some people who I used to enjoy spending time with, I no longer enjoy spending time with, and vice versa.... and that is very hard to deal with. Foods I used to enjoy, I no longer like... and again vice versa. (I have even been eating fish!)

My sense of humour, for example, has become a lot darker - in fact I would use terms like cruel and insensitive at times....

Interestingly enough, professionally, I am better - far more focused and direct - I always did want to be a decent nurse!

Socially, I am now far more isolated - I find it hard to be around people, especially people I used to know well. I tend to keep my own company and am often uncomfortable around people - sorry to any who think I have been snubbing them!

I have been looked at by assorted medics, psychologists, trick cyclists etc - and they have reassured me that I am not mad.... and not depressed or suffering from post traumatic stress disorder - just that I have undergone a change, and guess what... there is no treatment that will help or indeed do anything - I will just have to get on with life and try to start again in many ways - in actual fact, in all ways.

(I have also considered that this is all down to just a huge mid life crisis but I am saving that for next year!)

This has had a huge effect on life at home - I would like to say a huge thank you to Val who has supported me through all this - and yes, that is a hard subject - lets just say we will continue to do our best for michael. We share our house and are close... we even have rows sometimes.....! our future is hard to see for us, and that saddens me :(

Guess that sums it all up - and this was not a way of getting sympathy, but just that I and Val thought that people should know what has been going on, and be aware that things have changed.