Taking over this Joint.....

(Translated from the original Feline by Bonnie Langford.... that girl really must get out more!)

Good Day - after a few weeks of silence from one of my TwoLegs, I thought it was time that I added my thoughts to this .... situation.

Now I permit my humans a fair amount of freedom - I let them go to work, mainly because they can then buy me more catnip, but also because it is important that they have a hobby that does not revolve around me.... that way they will appreciate my incredible beauty even more while hand grooming my bushy tail...

But, it seems that I have given them to much freedom - the more feminine of the TwoLegs looks like she is going to have kittens - and I did not even hear her starting to Call... and if she had of called, SURELY anything is better than that paunchy bugger? I mean, at least get a Tom with a few battle scars, or whose feet do not smell.... and have you seen the state he leave his litter tray? Anyway, I digress - looks like she is having kittens, and I am not that amused.

My Humans, after a few months of intensive training, had realised their subservient role, and were indeed focusing every waking hour to my pleasure. This has now stopped. Only last week, as I was relaxing in the messiest room - they are all messy, but this is the worst, and all of a sudden they started taking things out..... they even took out the old towels that I had spent weeks working on - just comfortable, with just the right amount of fur shed on them. AND, and this is where they took their own lives into their paws, they even took ME out! I ask you - what is a Balinese Princess to do?

Having totally emptied the room, the male TwoLegs started doing some strange things to the walls.... he had a song going all the time - obviously not as nice as my purr, but .... "Always bloody allergic to some poxy part of pigging decorating and finds a way of getting out of it every bloody time sometimes i sodding wonder why i always do this...." Not the catchiest song, but he did seem to like it as he sang it most of the day - the only time he stopped was when the other two legs came in; perhaps she does not know the words?

So - that Human worked away - obviously I did supervise him, but he did do a fair job. Now all that remains is something to cover the floor - the wooden floor is quite hard on my delicate paws after all! Today he has emptied the room out so I assume he is planning something. I have also decided that this must be something to do with the kittens - but what a palava! When I had my kittens, I made do with a cardboard box... admittadly it looked like a palace with my beauty, but I mean to say....

Anyway - it has all gone quiet, so I assume that he has gone to play with that funny TV box in the small office - I bet I can distract him so he grooms me instead!

Ciao for Now

Gabby xxx