Messy Eater

Well - a man cannot remain on milk for all his life....

(Most chaps will have a breast fetish for all their lives, and it is nothing to do with sustenence or nutrition... we just LIKE funbags...)

So, anyway, young Michael is now being weaned. Obviously he is just having things like petit filou and baby rice and the odd ruby.... (No I am not joking - a good dhall is ideal baby food!)

Currently his favourite is Petit filou - raspberry by preference - the only down side is that he thinks it is some kind of body paint as well... and it makes a great projectile.... his recent experiment in using it as a form of feline shampoo was a failure however... Gabby was not impressed.

Having said that, just how far will a small pot of Petit Filou stretch? the answer is a lot further than you think - if I have to redecorate anywhere shortly I will ask Michael to come in for the painting - he is able to get it all over the place.....

(No picture of me this time - especially not after such a loving comment by Ash... thanks mate, I appreciate your candour, wit and charm.... and could you feel the love... LOL)

Marching onTogether

After Eric's subtle post, I thought it best to provide a quick image.

Here we both are on the first day of the football season, when we went to see my parents. My father has always tried to humiliate me by pointing out, in a "reet northern" accent, that I was born in "bloody Macclesfield so where I get this bloody Leeds stuff from...." Having said that he is a Scum fan - sorry, Manchester United follower.....

No matter what team Michael chooses, I will have these photos of him in a proper shirt.... and the shirt I have on is a replica of the 1972 strip - sad man that I am, but I have over 30 Leeds strips....

And yes, he is wearing Nike Trainers :)

Talking Gibberish

Yep - I know I can talk gibberish - anyone who has seen me lurching around the pub after a few ales, especially when football has been on will vouch for that fact.
Indeed, I believe I am fluent in Gibberish, Drunkenese and the obvious "Talking Bollocks" - and according to Val, I do it very well.

But I have caught myself talking baby now. And why do we do it?

I always used to think that parents talking to babys was silly - but now I do it... sound like I am playing golf with Brucie, Tarby et al - its all "Sockies" "Vesties" and "tootsies". Having struggled to pronounce assorted african phrases that friends have tried to teach me, now I am mangling my own language.

You know what - I don't care at all :)

This week coming Michael will be welcomed into the football fold as he sits with a swearing daddy sweating over an England game.... welcome to a life long curse son - you will both get used to it, and wonder why we do it.....

Been a long time

and apologies for that - but, I and we are back.

I sit and watch michael a fair amount these days, and I still have that wonderstruck expression. Actually Val says I look more moronic than normal but.....

Couple of things have occured to me though. Michael likes to sleep with his hands over his head - lying there like some comatose raver, passed out like a late 1980's clubber..... wonder why that occured to me....

Then I realised why. His vision is starting to come along now, and he can detect colours, and shapes and all sorts of interesting things. So - remember the scene in Father Ted where Father Jack drank the toilet cleaner and was hallucilnating? Well - I guess that is what Daddy's little raver gets to see..... I will start monitoring for signs of dancing now....

Also, Today I was actually at home for when he woke up. Val carefully and tenderly brought him into bed and sang him what she called the "Morning song":

Good Morning Michael
Good morning son - and so on - all at a civilised eight o clock

Compare that to the way that he is normally woken up when I am on an early shift. The precursor is the "cat fart" at 0400 - this is our Balines Princess' normal wake up call for breakfast - she just sits there and purrs as I awake choking on the noxious fumes.
(Of course it is the cat that does this - we all know that ladies do not do bottom burps, even if they are lying there with a beautificv smile as I gasp for breath....)

Normall I manage to doze untill the clock radio starts at 0615 - and as we all know what does the 0 stand for - OH my god it is early....
Val, god bless her, likes radio two, so i have that silly annoying bint Sarah Kennedy, mumbling away like some deranged talking advert for the polyfilla school of make up.
So - little Michael hears her quietly burbling away about tripe, closely followed by my rash of expletives aimed at her.

Next he hears me stomping to the shower - and the normal blood curdling cries as I realise that some one, and there is a short list of one on this issue, has turned the bleeding thermostat to cold.... obviously the exact words are difficult to discern due to me having three adam's apples at this stage.
Shower done, he hears me stumbling down stairs, trying to both swear at and negotiate the mobile trip wire called the cat. (I am male - I do not do multi tasking!)
Then back up stairs and drop off another cup of warm hemlock for val, stare and smile at michael then get dressed as it is time to leave for work.

Of course then we have the favourite words then that wake him up screaming every time - get used to hearing them son:

"Honey, can you just......?

sometimes I go to work for a rest.....

Kitten for Sale?

Now I have to admit that I do not have the largest amount of patience in the world - indeed, I do tend to be quite pedantic about being treated correctly at all times; (And no, treating a princess correctly does not involve a late night drive through the streets of Paris either), but this has got beyond a joke now.

The two legs' kitten is starting to take over the house.

I will say that again - the two legs' kitten is taking over MY house.

Before it arrived, the two legs spent a lot of time working on one room, and I did have respect for their efforts on my behalf - the upholstery was exquisite both for lying on and for claw sharpening, and there were many places to nap comfortably - and lets face it, beauty like mine needs to be worked on with beauty sleep.

Then the kitten arrived - and, I know you will not believe me, my Humans started to ignore me - would you believe I have even had to wait to be served anyone of the 6 or so meals a day my coat deserves?

But, I have a cunning plan. I have opened an ebay account, and am going to sell the kitten as cuddley toy - no one will be any wiser after all.

He does work quite well as a cuddley toy.... sniff

hmmmmm has an odour - of cat nip on him...... {ppppppuuuuurrrrrrr}

he may not be auctioned just yet!

Big Love to my many fans

Gabi

xxx

A Rough Weekend

apologies for not updating this recently, but I have been a little unwell - http://new.edp24.co.uk/content/news/story.aspx?brand=EDPOnline&category=News&tBrand=edponline&tCategory=news&itemid=NOED24%20Jul%202007%2008%3A57%3A13%3A703 for more information, and yes that is my head!

OK - so we are now into the second month.... and Michaels personality is really coming out - he is now looking at his parents as well as smelling them.... apparently this is normal, but I do suspect that Gabby the Balinese Princess had something to do with it.
He still hates baths... typical boy then! And he has discovered that his sprinkler does work.... I am used to it from work, but at work I am wearing a plastic apron :)
Val says she has had a smile out of Michael.... All I have so far is the odd facial contortion as he tries to get a tune out of his bottom flute..... lots of wind these days!

I am hoping to have some more pictures for people to look at soon

Save Money on Bedding!

you know it makes sense - do not bother buying any bedding for your own bed as there is every good chance that a certain little monster will not enjoy the muggy weather and keep all around him awake... all the time!

Tetchy?

Maybe it was the emergence of the sun - I know it has been a rumour in the UK for a few weeks now, but occassionally we do get sunshine - but what with it being Wimbledon, all we have had since Michael was born is rain, rain and for light relief - storms :)

But today was different - "SUNSHINE" Now Val took him out, carefully protected, covered up etc, for a few hours this morning - where else? Shopping of course, but since then, he has been a grumpy little toad - as grumpy as a Leeds United fan watching his team implode, again...

So - not much sleep I fear in the Dean household tonight - even the cat is sitting there with her paws in her ears, muttering about maybe just getting comfortable over Michael's mouth....

Salute all, welcome to parenthood!

Time to Buy a lottery ticket

One of the major bits of advice I was given about young Michael, was to make sure that his sprinkler was vovered while changing him... apparently they can spray quite well, and for a fair distance :)
So, I have always been careful - unlike my lovely wife....

Now we all expect the sprinkler system to well, sprinkle - but young Michael is a talented boy and managed to poo up Mummy's arm - right up to the elbow.

Unfortunately, this did happen right in front of me and I really tried to keep a straight face - shame I failed :)

So, I got slapped big style, and even more so when I suggested that she should go buy a lottery ticket.....

and yes, I am still grinning about it :)

First thoughts.....

If the cat can post to this blog, so can a baby!

My Daddy thinks I'm precocious as I'm already becoming a little magpie - he wears a silver chain and I hang onto it every time he picks me up. Like father like son I say.

I know just how lucky I am to have a Daddy like mine. He takes his turn with making me presentable for my audience in the morning, has got the changing routine down to a 'T' and makes sure Mummy is fed and watered at regular intervals. She has to keep her strength up to feed a little Hobbit like me - I'm a Hobbit only when it comes to the amount of times I need sustenance rather than the hairy feet thing I hasten to add.

I'm learning so much from him even at this stage. I can't quite reach the keyboard when he lays me on his lap whilst he's gaming, but it won't be long before he will be blaming the strange in game messages on me rather than the cat. Now I just have to find where the hotkey is for the expletives.........................

Couple of quick points

Just a quick thank you to all those who sent their best wishes - wether it was by email, text, smoke signal or what ever - we really did appreciate it :)

Fast update - Michael has just lost his umbilical bit - if that makes sense... I really must find that before the cat starts chewing it and gets the flavour....

Speaking of the moggy - she assures me she has put claw to paper again and will let me have it soon.... (She seems to be ok with Michael at the minute - I do however note that the pair of them seem to be having a farting contest, and I thought that there was nothing worse than a canned cat fart.....)

Grand parents on my side are happy... speechless, but happy :)

Baby head wetting is set for 27 th june - oh dear what a shame... my birthday.....

salute all :)

oh my

as I type this, Michael is asleep on my lap, and Val is getting some much deserved rest herself.

Yes we do have some photos, actually we have shed loads of pictures, but, I am not really ready to post them yet - rather, I am sitting here trying to put into words what I feel.

It isn't easy - especially if you do not do emotion LOL!

I look down at my son.. our son - you know what I mean, and i get choked up - I want to do so much for him, and to just give him all i can.

***
and yes, for those who wondered - i do change the nappies, and yes, I do burp him etc :)

Introducing Michael Peter

born at 2230 on 19th June 2007, weight 6 15
Mother and baby doing well
Val has to stay in for a couple of days but all went smoothly

I will post more when I can

LOADING - Please Wait

or it may be a false alarm
seems as if the bump is moving - the baby obviously wants to pop out as it heard me tinkering with the falco this morning, and the pure power of the V Twin may well have been too much for it
(Apparently we have contractions every seven minutes.... personally, I am quite looking forward to this - but then I am not the one with a football to expel!)

will try to keep people posted

Alea Jacta Est

well, 5 or so weeks till the babe arrives, and to celebrate, I am off for a few days.

(Hence the title - it is, in many ways, the last roll of the dice for me as a dad too be)

For those of you who have not heard, we do know the sex of our baby - but are keeping it quiet. Tied in with that, we are helping a friend out with some fundraising for Cancer Relief - for those of you close enough, pop in to the Butchers arms and by a ticket for a pound - you will get to draw a name, and the right names are in there - winner gets something... probably spirits based :)

So, be safe all, am off to hampshire, london and leicestershire over the next 3 days...

I do hope this baby likes bikes!

Star Child?

Well, off we went to see the Midwitches and their friends, and got to play with the scanner.

Now, I admit that I am a bit of an anorak about Sci-Fi - but does anyone else remember 2001 a Space odyssey?

Remember the Star Child that appears at the end of the film?

Well - there it is in all its glory.

But the scan showed something very similar - in fact I said it aloud.

(I got the obligatory strange looks, but hey, I can deal with that!)

Now that is scary!

Anyway, Babe is fine, fighting fit and seems to react well to Mother having a little curry.....

Now then, the question is - do we have a baby girl or boy - we do know, but we are keeping it quiet, and will be a suprise for all of you :)

(Gabby doesn't mind so long as the baby balinese has good fur, and walks on four legs, not like her stupid two leg humans....)

Getting all hippy....

Now, I am a chap of a certain age... and yes, I have been known to have long hair, and just maybe some of my shirts have been a tad flowery - but I am not really a hippy.

BUT

I am getting all into love and peace, and planet saving - I see pictures of whales and want to hug them... I walk around dandelions and smile at butterflies..... and, yes, I have been listening to Pink Floyd again. (And no - not the later stuff, the wish you were here era....)

So, what brought on this latest episode of Lentil Loving?

The baby's heart beat.

I went off with She Who Must Be Obeyed to visit the Midwitches and they played this great game with some device or another - and there was Barney - loud and clear.
Now he did have a kind of hard acid house beat thing going on - like 140 beats per minute, but then he is daddy's little raver :)

Now, you remember Dark side of the Moon? that heart beat that just runs through the whole album, and makes you feel all kind of loved up? That is nothing mate - abso-bloody-lutely nothing - to hear that little heart beat hit a chord with me

So - am off to find some more whales to hug - I may even look kindly on the inhabitants of Lesbos....

Raising the child properly

Well, it was always going to be a hard one - do I raise the child with a love of the beautiful game, and foster that love by taking them along to either Norwich or Ipswich, or do I raise them properly....

I chose the path less well trod!

So, much to my delight, and Val's disgust, I have bought a replica leeds strip for the 6 to 9 month old. Now before the assorted people start commenting, yes I do realise that there will be plenty of opportunities to parade the baby at assorted Division 1 grounds next season - now sod off the lot of you :)

Val of course has expressed no interest in such an important decision... and i believe my father remains a Man U scum fan - bleeding glory hunters! Mind you, I think Val got off lightly - I did see a rather pleasnt little ducati that I though would be a lovely new born present......

Daddy goes shopping....

Well, life can be strange, and nothing is stranger than a dad to be shopping for the babe to be....

Now I am not going to go into any detail at all, but lets just say our first baby will not be having any brothers or sisters - am fairly certain that when Val finds out what I have bought she will be looking for me with a carving knife and a rusty spoon...

And, no, it is not a new computer for junior... and No, it is not his own ickle motorbike that daddy will ride in for him....

Any guesses ?

daddy's little hooligan

So, today I decided to have a good feel around the wife's bump - no not for that reason... that is what got me into this mess in the first place!

Sure enough, Barney woke up, established that someone was poking around and decided to stick the boot in. (Why do I have a mental image of a baby with those cute little bootsies on... looking like Doc Martins!)

It did feel strange - we have about 12 weeks to go, but to feel our child like that was... well, wierd. I suspect those weeks are going to go very quickly now, and the end of June will soon be here.

Gabby is going to be in for a shock - I suspect that she is probably going to adopt the babe as her own kitten - and I also think that the baby is going to get very confused about who Aunty Gabby is..... and if the baby gets weaned on catnip treats I will not be at all surprised!

As for me - I am still endorsing the idea that breast is best for the baby..... that should save me a few nights' sleep :)
Next up - ante natal classes start soon.... scary!

Latest Scan - tempremental so and so!

I never thought that our baby would be camera shy..... But - seems that the little so and so is hiding the family jewels - we genuinly do not know if we are having a boy or a girl - crossed legs, and hand over the bits. (I know - hand over the bits - must be a boy as we can't leave our bits alone!)

But, we can see a few things of interest - the nose seems to be more like Val's than mine. (And yes, again, I know - if it were like mine then the babe's other hand would be picking it....)

Do I detect a burgeoning real ale belly there? Could be

I have rotated the image, but if you imagine that the babe is on it's back.... I do detect a certain resemblance to the wife.... no doubt the babe is already planning on falling asleep at the first opportunity and taking all the available space....

Well - what else is new? The nursery is done, all bar the little feminine touches that is. The large part of those feminine touches seem to involve buying things and covering every spare inch of storage space but I digress. It does look ok - though when I wander in there it does scare me to see the cot, and the pram, and the change board and the piles of nappies.... it is enough to drive a chap to drink!

Val has introduced me to a few new concepts that have scared me - who ever heard of designer baby clothes! lets just say that EBay has taken a hammering - and why the poxy hell is it that my newest shirt cost £3.75 while baby monster's was a damn site more....

The cat remains bewildered - she thinks the pram is for her and can't find her favourite sleeping spot now...

The Grandparents are still fighting back - My mother insists on not being called granny, nana or anything similar... My Father still just sits and laughs at me - we will get our own back on you Pops!

Taking over this Joint.....

(Translated from the original Feline by Bonnie Langford.... that girl really must get out more!)

Good Day - after a few weeks of silence from one of my TwoLegs, I thought it was time that I added my thoughts to this .... situation.

Now I permit my humans a fair amount of freedom - I let them go to work, mainly because they can then buy me more catnip, but also because it is important that they have a hobby that does not revolve around me.... that way they will appreciate my incredible beauty even more while hand grooming my bushy tail...

But, it seems that I have given them to much freedom - the more feminine of the TwoLegs looks like she is going to have kittens - and I did not even hear her starting to Call... and if she had of called, SURELY anything is better than that paunchy bugger? I mean, at least get a Tom with a few battle scars, or whose feet do not smell.... and have you seen the state he leave his litter tray? Anyway, I digress - looks like she is having kittens, and I am not that amused.

My Humans, after a few months of intensive training, had realised their subservient role, and were indeed focusing every waking hour to my pleasure. This has now stopped. Only last week, as I was relaxing in the messiest room - they are all messy, but this is the worst, and all of a sudden they started taking things out..... they even took out the old towels that I had spent weeks working on - just comfortable, with just the right amount of fur shed on them. AND, and this is where they took their own lives into their paws, they even took ME out! I ask you - what is a Balinese Princess to do?

Having totally emptied the room, the male TwoLegs started doing some strange things to the walls.... he had a song going all the time - obviously not as nice as my purr, but .... "Always bloody allergic to some poxy part of pigging decorating and finds a way of getting out of it every bloody time sometimes i sodding wonder why i always do this...." Not the catchiest song, but he did seem to like it as he sang it most of the day - the only time he stopped was when the other two legs came in; perhaps she does not know the words?

So - that Human worked away - obviously I did supervise him, but he did do a fair job. Now all that remains is something to cover the floor - the wooden floor is quite hard on my delicate paws after all! Today he has emptied the room out so I assume he is planning something. I have also decided that this must be something to do with the kittens - but what a palava! When I had my kittens, I made do with a cardboard box... admittadly it looked like a palace with my beauty, but I mean to say....

Anyway - it has all gone quiet, so I assume that he has gone to play with that funny TV box in the small office - I bet I can distract him so he grooms me instead!

Ciao for Now

Gabby xxx

Barney is a Biker - Confirmed

Its been a few weeks since I added anything to this blog, but we have been very busy.

We do however have a new scan picture - and here it is :)

As you can clearly see, Barney is getting ready for a fast ride - face down, arse in the air, getting into that Ducati pose.... Bless him!

(Cynics would also point out that he does seem to have missed out on his father's nose, but I digress).

Also - we do not know if he is a he yet - and even when we do know about that we may well keep it quiet.

So what else have we been up to? Well, I went on an early trip to a toyshop, just thinking ahead you understand, and was faced with a few hard decisions for Christmas this year - Hornby or Scalectrix.. . and then Cars or bikes? Decisions decisions - I may just get both :)

We have also been moving a pile of stuff to the loft - now this was a fraught adventure - I remember going through the coat rack with the wife, and just how many winter coats does a woman need? (Apparently the answer is 4, and that does not include her barbour jacket.... As for shoes - Imelda Marcos is alive and well and living in beccles. The collection of trotter covers was remarkable - and amazingly enough we have managed to prise her hands off a few pairs and are sending them, along with a few other bits to a second hand clothes shop....

Shit - just had a thought - if she goes in their with stuff to sell, then she will browse, and then buy more stuff - bugger it, I had better go clear some more space for her aquisitions!

Happy New Year?

So, 2007 is here, and soonish, so will be Barney....

It felt strange last night as I quaffed countless ales, thinking about my dearly beloved who had gone home to bed as she was feeling tired - new year will never be the same again.

In fact, not just new year, but life in general. I assume that most reading this have seen the Yellow Pages advert where some chap is calling for insurance for his corvette - just as his wife tells him she is pregnant? Kind of a similar feeling for me atm. I have decided to sell one of my bikes, and am seriously thinking that a 2+2 sports car may not be the best thing for a young family.... Now that is damn scary!

But, as my dad said, "Son, when you get married, that four penny pie will cost you eight pence" - so I guess it is now twelve pence and rising.

Other things are different as well - and I think that maybe other chaps will understand this - It used to be just me and val in this house, now it is Val and Barney - and i get to be around a bit as well.

So, happy new year all